Love, Brian
by folkblues-spiegel
Summary: It's my first attempt at serious fanfiction so don't be too harsh on me! Takes place after the season one finale. Please R/R!
1. Beautiful Day

"Love, Brian"  
  
By: Ann  
  
**  
  
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at fan fiction, so if it sucks, just bear with me. This was hard story to write, because it's not easy getting into Brian's head. The character of Brian is so complex and mysterious, but I'm always up for a good challenge. Enjoy the story, and please give me feedback!  
  
**  
  
The dance. The kiss. Justin. The parking lot. That fucking bastard Chris Hobbs. Justin. Blood. Justin. Hospital. Mikey. Justin. JUSTIN!  
  
My eyes flew open when Michael shook me into consciousness. "Brian....Brian can you hear me? Brian wake up!." I looked around in a daze. I am still sitting on the same fucking chair I had sat down in 5 hours ago when I got here. "Sorry I....I dozed off," I said, trying to make my voice sound less shaky. What the fuck am I doing dozing off at a time like this? I glanced down the hallway for anyone who could tell me how Justin was doing. This was all my fault. I should have never shown up at the prom. Hell, I don't even know what made me show up in the first place. I looked across the lobby to meet the angry eyes of Craig and Jennifer. They blame me, and I know it. They blamed me from the beginning, when they found out their son was gay, when they found out I took him home. If only I had gotten to Justin sooner.....if only I hadn't pulled Justin out into the parking lot......if only I hadn't been there at all. I should be the one on that stretcher. Tears are rolling down my face...no not again. I need to be strong for me and for Justin.  
  
Michael put his arm around his friend. He hadn't seen Brian cry since his father died, and even then it wasn't this bad. Michael felt bad for what happened to the Boy Wonder. Sure, Justin annoyed the hell out of him sometimes......okay, all the time, but he was a good kid, and he meant a lot to Brian.....more than Brian could ever admit to. He looked around the hospital lobby. Mom and Vic were the first to show up, then Jennifer and Craig, Justin's parents. Emmett and Ted showed up an hour later with flowers. Ted had just gone to visit Blake in rehab, only to find he checked himself out. It seemed shit was raining down on all of them in every direction. Emmett was crying his eyes out, which didn't make the situation any better. Daphne arrived looking deathly pale, her prom dress ripped at the bottom from running across the parking lot. Lindsey and Melanie showed up holding Gus. Brian's face lit up a bit at the sight of sonny boy, and Lindsey was more than happy to deliver him to Brian's waiting arms. Melanie said there were a ton of people outside from Babylon, the Diner, and Woody's holding signs that said 'GET WELL JUSTIN'. Even Sheba, the Queen of Babylon, stopped by on her way to the best pecs contest at Boy Toy with a huge bouquet of flowers with a note that said, "To my King of Babylon, get well soon honey. Sheba." A doctor had been by a few times to tell them how Justin was doing. He seemed to be coming out of it, but it was still too early to tell. The doctor said that if Brian hadn't distracted Chris by yelling Justin's name, Justin would have taken a full blow to the back of the head, which would have been instantly fatal. Michael looked over at Justin's dad, who was glaring at Brian. Michael tightened his grip on Brian's shoulder. He couldn't help thinking about David. What was he doing right now? Did he get there okay? Will the airline ticket still be good tomarrow? It didn't matter, he'd buy another. He felt bad for not getting on the plane, but Brian needed him, hell everyone did. He couldn't turn his back on his friends. Michael sighed. This was going to be a long night.  
  
I felt Mikey grip my shoulder. I was glad he was here, yet at the same time I felt bad. He finally met a guy who loved him, and I ruined it. When all this blows over I am buying that fucking plane ticket myself, and he is getting on that plane to Portland. He's been following me around for so long he forgot he had a life to live. I may not like the Doc, but he's good for Mikey, and that's good enough for me. My mind keeps going back to Justin. I want to see him, but the doctors won't let anyone in. This hospital lobby is driving me insane. The lime walls make me want to puke. Where's the funeral march to top it off? I have to do something.....I can't sit here and lose myself. I don't want to cry in front of all these people. I'm not weak! Why does Justin have to do this to me? When he's around me I lose control. I can't think or act....all I can do is feel. Lindsey and Mel are here now, and they brought sonny boy. Perfect timing, as usual. Lindsey walked over and put him in my arms. Whatever small comfort I can get.....it's not comforting enough. Gus was named by Justin the night he was born.....the night we met. Gus is gripping a teddy bear that I don't remember buying for him. It was probably from Justin. God, please let Justin be okay. Don't take him away from me. The doctor is coming back. Hopefully he has something good to say this time.  
  
The doctor walked into the lobby and was shocked at the large crowd that greeted him in anticipation. He cleared his throat and asked for the parents. Jennifer and Craig stood up and followed the doctor down the hallway. Emmett had stopped crying and was now pacing back and forth, driving Melanie insane. Melanie grabbed Emmett by the wrist and pulled him into the seat next to her. Emmett started to whine in protest, but Mel shot a look of death at him and he was silent. Ted was staring at the bouquet of flowers he brought. They were supposed to go to Blake, but Blake had checked himself out. He chose his drugs over him, and that hurt more than anything else in the world. Ted didn't want to admit it, but he knew Emmett was right all along. Ted was stubborn, but he couldn't help it. He always looked out for people. Like Michael, he wanted to be a superhero and save people. Today was a rude awakening. Blake had to want to be saved, and he chose differently and there wasn't a damn thing Ted could do about it. Justin's parents returned to the lobby all teary eyed and happy. Ted caught a glimpse of Brian trying to stand up. He wondered if they would let Brian in there. He hoped they would.  
  
I lost it. As soon as I got word Justin was okay, I lost it. I must look like a fool sitting here crying. But I don't care anymore, let them think I am. Let them think I'm weak and vulnerable. I think they knew my hard ass exterior was bullshit all along. His parents look happy. Maybe there's a chance they will get back together. Maybe Justin will have his family back. Hopefully his dad will finally accept him for who he is. They're looking at me again. I can't tell how mad they are. His dad probably wants to kick my ass again. I'll let him.....I deserve it. The doctor is motioning in my direction. Please let me go in and see him. God, his mom is looking right at me. I'm getting up.....my legs are shaking. Mikey had to stand up to support me. I feel so dizzy and drained. His mom is hugging me now. I didn't expect that at all. The doctor is telling me to go with him. Everyone's reaching out to squeeze my hand or pat my back. Why can't they all just disappear? I don't need their fucking pity. They weren't there when that asshole swung that bat. They didn't see me cradling Justin in my arms until the ambulance arrived. So much blood....I'm still holding that fucking scarf. The same scarf I tried to kill myself with just yesterday!? I'm definitely getting rid of this fucking scarf.  
  
**  
  
"Sunshine! Get your bubble butt in here and finish your dinner!" Deb was so happy to have him home. Justin came downstairs with a frown. "I can't finish it!" Deb put her hands on her hips. Justin got the hint and sat down. Deb could be so intimidating sometimes. He forced the rest of the meal down and put the dishes in the sink. The phone rang, and Deb ran over to answer it, thinking it was Michael calling from Portland. It was Brian asking to speak to Justin. "Hey Sunshine, pick up the phone!" Justin ran up to his room and picked up his cordless. "Hello?" There was silence. "Brian I know it's you, Deb has caller ID."  
  
Damn that little shit is smart. I know Deb doesn't have caller ID. I was surprised that Justin knew it was me, considering I hadn't been able to speak. I tried to play it off by laughing. I lightened up a bit. "Are you feeling better?" I waited for a reply. Justin was taking a long time answering. "Yeah I'm doing a lot better....the headaches aren't that bad anymore, and I'm not dizzy when I get up." It was so good to hear his voice, especially since 9 days ago, I didn't think I'd be able to hear it again. "Well if you're feeling better maybe Deb will let you go out." I could see his eyes lighten as I said that. "Out where?" I smiled at his playfulness. I knew he was mocking me. "Oh I don't know....maybe my place?" I heard him mumble "hold on" and then scuffling feet. I guessed he was running down the stairs to ask Deb. After a moment, I heard the feet coming back. "Deb says it's ok, but I have to be back in the morning.....I have a doctor's appointment." Yeah, like the doctors haven't done enough damage. He's on so much medication he could fill up Vic's pillbox for the whole week with just a day's worth. I told him I'd be there in ten. I set the alarm, locked up, and ran across the parking lot to my Jeep, eager to see Justin. I had been talking to him on the phone every day since he got out, but Deb never let him out of her sight until now. I drove by the Diner and Torso as I headed toward Deb's. I saw Emmett in Torso's display window dressing a mannequin. I waved but he didn't see me. I saw Ted walking down the street past Woody's and beeped my horn. I think I scared the shit out of him.....I never saw him jump so high. At his age that must be pretty hard. He should be careful before he breaks a hip or something. God I even make fun of Ted in my thoughts.....  
  
Justin hopped up from the couch as soon as he heard the Jeep pull into the driveway. He kissed Deb and Vic, grabbed his bag, and ran out the door. Vic looked out the window in awe. "That kid doesn't waste any time does he?" Deb put a bookmark in her romance novel and joined Vic at the window and watched as Brian got out of the Jeep.....wait, got out of the Jeep? Aren't they leaving? Brian ran around the side of the Jeep and stopped in front of Justin. They stood there looking at each other for the longest time. Deb smiled. She always dreamed that Brian would finally grow up one day, and now it was happening. She and Vic looked on smiling as Brian leaned in to give Justin a kiss. It was slow and passionate, as if they were savoring each other. Deb went back to her chair and sat down, eyeing the novel she was reading. "You know what Vic, I think we're going to eat out tonight."  
  
We drove back to my loft in silence. I wanted to say a lot of things, but I was never good at expressing my emotions, especially not to Justin. He wasn't supposed to get in my head, to know my thoughts, and to know me better than I know myself. But he did. And I barely told him anything. I shut him out, treated him like shit! Yet he still comes back! We walked the short distance to my loft, got into the elevator, and walked into the apartment. I watched him kick off his shoes. God I missed him so much. I can't believe I'm thinking that! What happened to the old me…..the Brian Kinney who didn't give a shit about anyone or anything. The Brian Kinney who fucked anyone with no looking back, no regrets. I look in the mirror and see a different person, not physically, but mentally. Maybe I can settle down with Justin for the rest of my life. I can't believe I'm thinking about this! Why are you so perfect Justin? Why can't I shake you? Why can't I resist you? Could I actually shut Justin out of my life and go back to what I was? I will never admit it, but I wouldn't go back. I didn't like my life before Justin. It was an endless shithole with no exit, no release. Justin is my release. As I watch him sitting on my couch with his eyes closed, his head lolling back and forth to the music he put on…..he's so beautiful. Why am I so scared of committing to someone? Is it my reputation? I need to stop thinking with my cock and listen to *cough* my heart? What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm having a breakdown. I finally went nuts. I need a drink….I need drugs…..anything. Anything to keep my mind off those three words. The words on the edge of my mind, waiting to come out. But I won't let them. Justin can't know. Why is it so hard for me to say it? So hard to say what I really feel? So hard to say "I love you."  
  
Justin looked through Brian's CD collection until he found what he was looking for. Moby. He put it in the CD tray and hit play. He felt Brian's eyes on him, but didn't shove it in his face. Instead he acted like he didn't notice. He sat down on the couch and shut his eyes, figuring Brian would make the first move. But Brian wasn't moving. Justin wished he could read his mind. He wished he could just crawl inside Brian's head and stay there forever, if only Brian would let him. His thoughts came to a stop when he felt Brian's hand on his shoulder. Justin breathed in deeply, swooning under Brian's touch. It had been so long since they had been alone together. Brian's hand traveled to Justin's chest. Justin stood up and turned to face the object of his affection. Brian stepped over the couch, his eyes locked on to Justin's. Justin ran a hand through Brian's hair as Brian's mouth hovered inches from his lips. Justin leaned in for the kiss.  
  
It felt so good to touch him again. To feel his lips moving over mine. To run my fingers through his hair, down his back. I pulled his shirt over his head, briefly breaking our liplock, giving us time to breathe. He had a hungry look in his eyes. I felt my erection pressing painfully against my jeans. I grabbed my boy wonder and threw him on the couch. I straddled him and started kissing and biting his chest, his nipples. I played with his nipple ring, pulling on it gently with my teeth. I heard him moan in ecstasy. That always got to him. I unzipped his pants and pulled down his briefs, watching as his erection popped out. I didn't notice he had pulled off my black wife beater and was unzipping my pants. I slipped my pants off and threw them on the floor. I kissed him until our lips were swollen. He put his legs over my shoulders and I knew it was time. I grabbed the condom and the lube. He took the condom, ripping the package open with his teeth. He slipped it on me as I applied the lube to my fingers. He gasped as I slipped one finger in, then two, then three, to apply the lube. It had been so long! In minutes I was thrusting into him wildly as he moaned and yelled my name. I love it when he does that. The look on is face alone made me climax. My climax triggered his, and I moaned as I felt his essence spray across my chest. I slumped on top of him and we laid there for a while holding each other. It felt so good to hold him, to feel his body against mine. After a while we got up, took a hot shower together, and I led him to my bed. I pulled down the duvet and got in. Justin jumped in beside me, snuggling against me. I never liked cuddling before. Only Justin. I wrapped both arms around him and kissed his forehead. This could work. I could picture being with Justin. I'm going crazy again. I'm going to sleep. Maybe tomorrow I can think straight.  
  
Justin woke up to Brian kissing his cheek. He rolled over and pulled Brian into a long passionate kiss. "Thanks for last night," he whispered into Brian's ear. Brian smiled and pulled Justin out of bed with him. Brian lost his balance and they both toppled on to the floor laughing. Justin got up, pulling Brian up to regain his balance. Then they dressed each other slowly, planting kisses on each other along the way. When they were dressed, Justin went to the refrigerator and pulled out some guava juice. He then pulled bagels out of the freezer and put them in the microwave. He pulled two glasses out of the cabinet and poured the juice. Brian watched him, smiling. Justin pulled the bagels out of the microwave and put them on a plate. He then brought the plate and the glasses to the table. They ate in silence, casting winks and smiles across the table.  
  
I have to tell him. Okay okay so I thought I was going nuts last night with the whole idea of couples *shiver* and love. Maybe I am crazy, but if I am I don't want to be cured. Justin has to know how I feel about him. It seems to be the only thing he doesn't know about me. Shit maybe he does know. Maybe that's why he stuck around so long. I spotted his bookbag on the floor by the door. Maybe I could write him a note or something. Yeah, a note sounds good. I grabbed a post it note and a pen, and while Justin was putting things away I wrote the note and stuffed it in the smaller part of his bookbag. He didn't notice thank God. We got in the Jeep and I drove him back to Deb's. They weren't awake yet, but they would be within the hour. I kissed Justin goodbye and he got out. Was the note a good idea? I'll have to wait and find out. My heart is pounding….I have never felt like this before. Christ, maybe I am in love. I don't know what love is supposed to feel like, but if it feels like I feel right now I could get used to it. I didn't even need my latte this morning. It's going to be a good day, I can feel it.  
  
'History class sucks dick,' thought Justin as he scribbled on his notebook. He couldn't believe he still had to finish the year in this school. He was glad in a way, because he could graduate with Daphne. Chris Hobbs was expelled and in jail, so he wouldn't be seeing him anytime soon. "Hey Justin! Justin? Hello?" It was Daphne, trying to get his attention. He looked up and smiled at her. "What do you want?" She giggled. "May I borrow a pencil?" He smiled and unzipped the lower part of his bag. He knew there had to be one in there somewhere….ah there it was, right next to a yellow post it note. He handed Daphne the pencil, then focused on the post it note. It was folded into fourths. He picked it up. His name was scrawled on the outside. It was Brian's handwriting, he knew that much. He slowly unfolded it, afraid and excited to see what was written inside. He silently read it, unaware of the big grin that creeped across his face. He let the note fall on to the desk. He stared at it until the bell rang. He made a mental note to tell Deb he would be at Brian's tonight. I think the note would convince her enough. He put his bookbag on and put his arm around his best friend as they walked out into the bright sunlight. It was a beautiful day.  
  
July 3, 2001  
  
Justin-  
  
Words cannot describe how good last night was, not only for you, but for me too. Meet me after school.  
  
By the way, I love you.  
  
Brian  
  
  
  
EL FIN 


	2. Beautiful Day

"Beautiful Day"  
  
By: Ann  
  
*************  
  
Author's Note: This story is the sequel to "Love, Brian". It's 11 at night so don't expect anything too creative. I'm bored, therefore I am motivated to write a story. Why? I have no idea. Let's just say my Queer As Folk soundtrack is in my CD player so it's inspiring me. I dedicate this story to 3 special people. Gale Harold and Randy Harrison for being wonderful actors and inspiring me to write these, and to my best friend Justin for reading and critiquing my work. You guys are number one in my book.  
  
**************  
  
Brian's note. 'Oh my god someone catch me before I faint!', thought Justin. He never thought Brian would actually admit he gave a shit. He'd only dreamed of a moment like this, and now it was actually a reality. His legs kept shaking and he couldn't walk straight. Daphne was laughing at him.....'I guess I do look like a freak, but I can't help it!', thought Justin. Daphne, after reading Brian's note, immediately agreed to take Justin to Brian's after his shift at the Diner was over. Justin was going nuts.  
  
"What am I going to say to him? Better yet, what is he going to say now that he's laid his feelings out on the floor like that? Does he regret writing the note? Will he shove me away? I hope he meant it. I really want this to work. I love Brian, more than anything else in my life."  
  
Daphne rolled her eyes at her friend. She'd heard it all before. Still she couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"Justin everything's going to be fine so stop freaking out. I'm sure Brian wouldn't leave a note in your bookbag if it didn't mean SOMETHING."  
  
Justin calmed down a bit. Brian wouldn't do something like that… would he?  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Oh my God time is going so slow."  
  
Justin had an hour to go at the Diner before he could get to Brian's. His anxiety was growing by the minute, and he felt like he was going to explode. Debbie came over to him with a plate of lemon bars.  
  
"Hey Sunshine! Need some sugar?"  
  
She handed him a lemon bar. Justin took it and smiled at her. She always knew just what he needed. His smile faded when he realized what the real plan was. He moaned when she invited him to sit with her in one of the booths.  
  
"So what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing Deb, why?"  
  
"Don't bullshit me Justin. I know when something's up. I hate secrets."  
  
"It has to do with Brian so I know you don't want to hear it."  
  
Debbie leaned towards him.  
  
"I heard something about a note. Can I see it?"  
  
"How'd you know?"  
  
"I bugged Daphne about it when she dropped you off. She told me she would be back at 7:30 and I asked where you were headed. I guess she didn't know that you were hiding it from me."  
  
Justin rolled his eyes and pulled the note out of his pocket. He looked at it for a minute, then handed it over. Debbie read it about 8 times before she put it down; an amazed look on her face.  
  
"Well I'll be damned."  
  
Justin smiled and put the note back in his pocket. Just then he heard a car horn outside. He looked at Debbie.  
  
"Okay Sunshine, you're done. I'll do the dishes."  
  
Justin kissed Debbie on the cheek and bounded out the door.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The car ride was hell. It seemed Daphne didn't know there was a gas pedal in the car.  
  
"Daphne you drive like my grandma."  
  
"Shut up Justin, you should consider yourself lucky you didn't have to get Deb to drive you here!"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Brian was lighting the last of the candles when his buzzer went off. He pushed the button and unlocked the door. After a minute, he heard the familiar hum of the elevator making the ascent to his loft. He was nervous as hell, but he wasn't just ready to show it. "Brian Kinney, you are fucked!" he exclaimed as he heard the knocking on the door. He hesitated at the counter for a moment, then made his way to the door. He put on his best "what the fuck do you want" look, and pulled open the door.  
  
Justin. "He looks more beautiful every time I see him," thought Brian as he looked at his golden boy. He hoped Justin couldn't read his thoughts, because that would be embarrassing as hell, and he didn't need that right now. He decided to keep his cool… at least until he got Justin inside the door that is.  
  
"I didn't think you'd come," said Brian.  
  
"I didn't think I'd come either. Look, is this some kind of joke? Because if it is it's not funny. I had my doubts all the way over here."  
  
"Why would I be joking?"  
  
"Because you always act like you don't give a shit about me."  
  
Brian looked at Justin, shocked.  
  
"Well if I didn't give a shit about you, then why'd I let you hang around so long?"  
  
Justin smiled.  
  
"Because I'd just keep following you around anyway."  
  
Brian nodded, smiling.  
  
"Yeah I guess you're right."  
  
"I'm always right. You should know that by now."  
  
"Don't get smart, or you won't get what I invited you here for."  
  
"Yeah, okay Brian. So where do you want me? On the couch, the counter?"  
  
Brian gave Justin a playful shove.  
  
"And that is NOT the reason you're here. I mean, it might end up that way afterward, but not now."  
  
Justin looked at Brian, a confused look on his face.  
  
"No sex? Brian are you feeling okay?"  
  
"I didn't say no sex, I just said that will come later. Now will you stop asking questions? I'll explain everything I promise. Now sit down and keep your mouth shut until I'm done. This is hard enough as it is."  
  
Justin was silent as he sat down on the lounger.  
  
"Great, now that I have your attention I'll start. Okay shit I don't know where to begin."  
  
"How about at the beginning?"  
  
"I thought I told you to shut up. Keep it up and I'll kick your ass out of here and you'll never know what I was going to say, and believe me, I think you want to hear it."  
  
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Now please continue."  
  
"Okay I will."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay, now I know you don't want to talk about this, since you don't remember a lot of your prom night after our goodbye kiss, but I need to get this out, so listen up."  
  
Justin sat up in the lounger, giving Brian his full attention. Brian came over and sat on the edge of the lounger facing Justin.  
  
"Justin, you scared the shit out of me that night. It was the first time in my life where I thought I was going to lose myself. Even Mikey couldn't help me out. I felt like the world was pulled out from under me and I was falling into nothingness. I felt more alone than I ever have in my entire life. I was so scared that I wasn't ever going to see you again."  
  
Justin touched Brian's face.  
  
"It's okay Brian, I'm still here and I'm okay."  
  
Brian pushed Justin's hand away.  
  
"Thank God for that. It not only made me realize I DO have feelings for you, but I realized what a shit I've been to you the past year we've known each other. When I was sitting in that hospital lobby all I was thinking was how can I make it up to you? How can I make things better between us? I am so sorry I treated you like that. I know I'm not a very good person sometimes. I have a short temper and I don't like to let people close to me. But you saw past all the bullshit and you see me for who I am. Mikey doesn't even know me as well as you do. And I barely had to tell you everything. At Mikey's birthday party everyone hated me for inviting Tracey, and you were the only one who understood why I did it, and you didn't judge me for it. You didn't walk away. You stayed and helped me clean up, then you slept beside me all night. I know I didn't show it, but that meant a lot to me. Mikey's my best friend and it was just as hard for me to shove him away as it was for him to be humiliated by me. I don't know how I would have been if I were alone that night."  
  
Brian shuddered at the thought. Justin tried to grab his hand, but Brian pushed it away again.  
  
"Stop Justin just give me a minute okay? Now where was I… oh yeah the party. Well not only did you calm me down but you tracked Mikey down and told him what I did, which I was pissed about, but at the same time I was happy to have my best friend back. Then there was the thing with Kip."  
  
Justin froze.  
  
"Uh, w-what thing about K-Kip?"  
  
"Don't play dumb Justin. I know it was you who threatened Kip. That was a very dangerous thing to do, but I never thanked you for that. I don't know what you did, nor do I want to know, but you saved my ass. I could have lost everything. So I'm sorry for treating you like shit. You don't deserve it. Sometimes I wonder why you're still following me around. You deserve so much better than me, but you still want me for some reason. You're the only one who has put up with me… the only one who has bothered to. Ted and Emmett are good friends but they don't give a shit about my life because they know that they wouldn't find out anyway. Mikey likes to be the superhero but there's some things he stays out of. He especially likes to stay away from any problems concerning you."  
  
Justin gave an evil grin. Brian kicked him playfully in the leg.  
  
"Face it Brian, you need me!"  
  
"I told you to stay quiet until I was finished."  
  
Justin shut his mouth again, waiting for the rest.  
  
"I know I haven't been the best boyf… person to you, but I do give a shit about you and I AM sorry for all the bullshit over the past year. And wipe that shit-eating grin off your face Justin because I was NOT going to say what you thought I was so drop it."  
  
Justin snickered.  
  
"Brian you're forgiven."  
  
Justin snaked a hand around Brian's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Brian pulled back.  
  
"Not so fast, there's one more thing."  
  
Justin moaned.  
  
"What is it now?"  
  
"Patience Justin. I'll be right back."  
  
Justin slumped down on the lounger as he watched Brian get up and walk into his bedroom. A few minutes later, he returned with a long wooden box. He sat down on the edge of the lounger and handed it to a very anxious Justin.  
  
"Well? Are you going to open it or stare at the box all night?"  
  
Justin opened the box and laughed. He pulled out a bracelet made of cowry shells, the same one as Brian's. Something made him look closer. It wasn't made the same as Brian's, it was better. The shells were shiny and polished, and had a clear coat of protectant on them so they wouldn't get damaged. The hemp that held the shells together was stronger so it wouldn't break so easily. Instead of a loop and knot to hold it on the wrist there was a clasp made from a whole cowry shell split in half. Justin looked at it, amazed.  
  
"Do you like it?"  
  
Justin nodded 'yes'.  
  
"Good. I always caught you looking at mine so I figured I would get you one so mine wouldn't be missing one day… unlike you I need mine for other reasons than decorating my wrist."  
  
Brian gave Justin a shove. Justin looked at him quizzically.  
  
"What do you mean, for other reasons?"  
  
Brian shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Well here I'll show you."  
  
Brian undid the knot on the back of his bracelet and took it off, revealing a long thick scar on the outside of his wrist. Justin gasped.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Long story."  
  
"Well I have time."  
  
"I know that, but I don't want to go into all the gory details so I'll give you the Reader's Digest version okay?"  
  
Justin slumped back, defeated.  
  
"Okay, when I was little my dad used to take me fishing with him and his buddies. Well one day he was drunk off his ass as usual, and he wasn't watching his fishing pole. I was cleaning the fish guts out of the boat by leaning over the side of the boat with a bucket, getting water from the bay, and dumping it onto the deck. Well as I was filling the bucket, Jack had apparently drifted off into a drunken slumber and was awakened when a flock of birds went right over our heads. He jerked the pole up, and the hook came up beside my wrist and cut it. Now Jack's buddies were pretty concerned about it and wanted to go back and take me to a doctor, but Jack told them I needed to be a man about it and take the pain until we got back. So I sat in the cabin with a cloth around my wrist for 8 fucking hours, and by then the doctor's office was closed. My mom freaked out and took me to the hospital, where I got 15 stitches in my wrist."  
  
"Wow, your dad really was an asshole."  
  
"Yeah, you don't know the half of it. Anyway, when I was in middle and high school, people would make up rumors that I was suicidal and shit, so people stayed away from me. I liked it that way, so I told people I was going to blow up the school too, just so they would keep their distance. They did. Except for Mikey. He knew the real reason but kept his mouth shut. When I got to college I was tired of people asking me about it. That's when I met Lindsay. She bought me this bracelet. I had put it on my right wrist, but she took it off, explaining it was just the right size to hide the scar. I've worn it ever since, and will continue to wear it until it breaks."  
  
"Well if it ever breaks, tell me and I'll get you another one."  
  
"Thanks Justin. I appreciate the sentiment."  
  
"Welcome."  
  
Justin shifted in the lounger, and looked at Brian.  
  
"So this bracelet is basically just an "I'm sorry for treating you like shit" gift right?"  
  
"Well that depends on how you want to look at it."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well you can look at it like that, or you can flip the bracelet over and get a different meaning altogether."  
  
Justin slowly flipped the bracelet over. There were eight shells on the bracelet not counting the smaller shell for the clasp, and the backs of them were flat. There was a word inscribed on the back of each one, and they formed a sentence when read in order. Justin looked closely and read silently: "You changed my life forever. I love you." A tear slid down Justin's cheek and reached his chin, where it fell onto the clasp. Justin wiped the tear and looked at the clasp. One half of the shell had an inscription. He squinted to make it out: Brian. Justin looked at it for a moment, then looked at the other half of the clasp. The other half said Justin. He hooked the clasp together, creating the whole shell. He then understood, and more tears rolled down his face.  
  
"Thank you Brian."  
  
"Thank you, Justin."  
  
"I always knew you loved me. I told you that when we were discussing your ridiculous latte consumption in the Jeep."  
  
"Oh yeah and then I told you to shut the fuck up."  
  
Justin laughed and stood up. He grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him up with him. Brian smiled as Justin wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close. The radio had been on ever since the conversation started, playing low in the background. They started to sway back and forth. Justin picked up the bracelet and held it out to a confused Brian. Justin just smiled and held out his wrist. Brian smiled back and put the bracelet on.  
  
"Looks good on you."  
  
"Thank you Brian, this means so much to me."  
  
"You're welcome Justin."  
  
Justin was silent for a minute.  
  
"Brian?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"So does this mean we're a couple?"  
  
"We'll try Justin. I've never been in a relationship with someone so I can't guarantee I won't fuck it up somehow, but I promise you this. I will try, and if I do fuck up, I'll be honest with you."  
  
"I love you Brian."  
  
"I love you too Justin."  
  
"So, we've been dancing a while now…"  
  
"Yeah so?"  
  
"So umm it's really nice and all, but can we do something else?"  
  
"What did you have in mind?"  
  
Justin smiled and kissed Brian. Brian kissed him back. The kiss lasted a few minutes, growing more intense by the second. Justin reached for Brian's shirt. Brian lifted his arms, and they broke their kiss so Justin could get the shirt over his head. Brian went for Justin's shirt, pulling it off as well. Justin then went for the belt buckle, as did Brian. Justin unzipped Brian's pants. No underwear, as usual. Brian unzipped Justin's pants to discover a leopard thong. Brian laughed, Justin blushed.  
  
"Planning ahead Justin?"  
  
"Well… you know… I wanted to do something… different."  
  
Brian pulled the thong off.  
  
"As much as I enjoyed that, it has to take its place on the floor now."  
  
Justin smiled as Brian played with his left nipple, licking and biting at it. Brian left the left nipple and did the same to the right, while Justin ran his fingers through Brian's silky hair. Brian's tongue trailed down Justin's chest and played with Justin's belly button. Justin giggled and Brian licked back up, trailing up Justin's neck and chin, and landing in his mouth. Brian's tongue trailed back down, while his eyes never left Justin's. Justin let out a low moan as Brian's tongue licked at his already hardening cock. Justin's knees got weak as he felt Brian's mouth engulf him. He continued running his fingers through Brian's hair. Brian knew Justin couldn't last much longer, so he stopped his assault and his mouth returned to Justin's waiting lips. Justin's breathing was ragged, and so was Brian's.  
  
"Brian… enough… fuck me now… please."  
  
Brian looked Justin in the eyes.  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said no."  
  
"Is this a joke? If it is it's really cruel."  
  
"No it's not a joke. From this point on there won't be any more fucking here."  
  
Justin looked blankly at Brian.  
  
"From this point on, we're doing something different, something we haven't done. We're going to make love."  
  
Justin let out his breath and pulled Brian's face close to his.  
  
"Make love to me Brian."  
  
With that, Brian picked Justin up and carried him to the bed. Justin laughed as he threw him onto the soft duvet.  
  
"Better throw this on the floor…..we don't want to mess it up."  
  
"Fuck it, it's washable."  
  
With that, Brian landed on top of Justin, kissing up his chest. Justin put his legs up and on to Brian's shoulders. Brian grabbed the condom and lube off the bedside table. He ripped the condom open with his teeth and rolled it down his achingly hard shaft. He then squirted some lube on his first three fingers. Justin gasped as a lube covered finger entered him, then two, then three. Brian took his fingers out and rubbed the remaining lube on the condom. He then placed his cock at Justin's small throbbing opening. He looked at Justin.  
  
"Ready?"  
  
"I've been ready since I got here."  
  
With that, Brian slowly pushed himself inside of the man he loved. Justin let out a long moan, adjusting to Brian's always surprising length. Justin nodded, and Brian started moving in and out, slowly at first, then picking up speed. Brian grabbed Justin's cock and started stroking it. Justin came first, his muscles retracting making Brian come close behind. Exhausted, Brian rolled off of Justin.  
  
"Was it good for you?"  
  
"Yeah it was. You?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Brian?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Since we're a couple now, do I still have to live with Deb? I mean, that's okay and all, but I don't want to burden them anymore, plus with my work schedule we only see each other at night as it is…"  
  
"Okay Justin you can live here."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Just remember the rules this time. I don't need anymore suits and juicers stolen from me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"Do you have off tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well I don't have anything to do either, so we'll get your stuff out of Mikey's room, and then we'll go to your mom's townhouse and get the rest."  
  
"I have a lot of stuff Brian."  
  
"And I have storage space."  
  
"What time do you want to get up?"  
  
"Set the clock for 10."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Justin leaned over and set the alarm. He then rolled back over toward Brian and put his head on Brian's chest. Within minutes Justin was snoring softly. Brian ran his fingers through Justin's hair as he drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.  
  
"I love you Justin."  
  
EL FIN 


End file.
